A Letter to my son on his second birthday!

Dear Arnav...

Happy birthday!

You will be turning 2 years old within couple of weeks, and it’s been the most joyful, exhausting, funniest and fullest years of my life..you made your entrance into this world and my life hasn’t been the same since.. I’m so thankful for you. I’m so glad God chose to give us you, that he picked you just as you are and blessed us with your little life. You are perfect for your dad and me.

I know you may not understand today what Iam writing to you but yes one day you will surely enjoy reading it! And that will be most happiest moment in our life!

I love the way you look, my beautiful little cutie pie,a perfect image of your dad.It’s so cute to see you turn into your daddy.You and your daddy have the same face, the same walk, the same mannerisms, the same emotional make-up. It’s really awesome to see this and experience the same.And Iam proud of it!

Iam extremely fond of your beautiful black eyes, your precious little ears and crazy hair making you perfectly imperfect.When I see you, I see your dad, but more than that, you just look like family to me. You look like you came from me, pulled from my past, this perfect culmination of everything that’s ever happened to bring you to this point....

You are by far my biggest source of joy and my biggest energy drain. You keep me going, you keep my laughing and man, oh, man do I love seeing you smile.

You are a crazy little boy, though, do you know that? You run in circles around the living room, giggling to yourself and falling out as soon as you make yourself dizzy.

I love your laid-back, easy-going, silly personality.Initially You were enjoying large crowds, being around people you know and people you don’t...but now you have started recognizing people who are familiar to you..but The way you wave your hands while saying hi and bye to anyone and everyone is just amazing!Everybody is bound to fell in love with you.You are really bundle of joy for me....

I love the way you smile,laughing silently or giggling audibly.The way you love to be swung around,The way you reach out to touch everything. The way you love to offer us your food, your toys or the little scraps of paper you find on the ground...The way you enjoy playing with kitchen utensils especially spoons,dishwasher and cupboard..way you love feeding me with your sweet hands...I really enjoy it!

You are such a little gentleman and I’m telling you, it’s just IN you. I haven’t had to teach you how to be kind and loving – you knew how to embody those qualities from birth.

I enjoy and love reading shlokas to you every afternoon while you are sleeping...You’re trusting and sweet, and I treasure these moments.

I remember you play so very nicely and point out perfectly animals, make their sounds, enjoy nursery rhymes being played on laptop everytime while eating..with the sing-song rhythms and lot more!You are indeed an easy baby giving less trouble to your mommy!

I know how you love listening to songs while riding in our mitsubishi-galant.When any nursery rhymes ends you say aaaaaannnnnn...along with it...perfect gap between start of new song and end of old one....so also I enjoy feeding muskmelon to u....I clearly remember the moment it is finished from home I send your dad to walmart to pick one for you....Iam really going to miss these moments a lot dear...

I love the way you wake up in the mornings,crying either for me or dad to pick you up. I love the crooked little mouth and long face you make when you cry, how your cry affects me....I remember how I shout on your dad when he does mischeif with you and makes you cry....a different kind of play!

I clearly remember the day you spoke first word tree...I almost dropped the dishes I was holding when I heard you say that! My heart swelled three sizes that day. You
are my baby for real!!!

I love to listen your sweet words like bye,learning new words and sounds almost daily..You dont know how much thrilled and happy I was when I heard from your mouth for the first time the word Jai..Really you are god's sweet little gift to us! and tremendously blessed by god...I just cant describe my joy in words..I admire you everytime now onwards when you say Jai after praying god everyday.I wholeheartedly thank god for this miracle...Iam eagerly waiting to listen to you talk..,You
recently learned to say Bye !I clearly remember we were returning back from swati kaku.s house and there for the first time you said bye!You cant imagine dear how very happy me and your kaku were!...Really swati kaku only taught you how to say bye... .Today at the grocery store also,You were saying bye to each and everyone around you! All were admiring you and were very glad to greet you.So also happy to know that you can easily say now ball...My ears stuck high when I heard for the first time you said star...I was amazed when you said mau....and finally for the first time uttered maa after memorizing you for hundred times by your favourite kaku...

But that doesn’t mean we haven’t had our challenges. When you were a newborn, you were termed as premature baby for about 15 days and was placed under light...you were so tiny that I used to get frightened to hold you in my hands...but your grandma,doctor and almighty god along with your dad gave me strenghth and belief that everything would just go perfect!I used to be worried a lot and hence would always pray for you to god..but within very few days you became healthy baby...loved and liked by all!

I remember nursing or feeding was a play for you...entire night you would be awake and hardly you would sleep...Me and grandma used to wait eagerly counting hours and seeing clock,every minute so that night time is over...Your dad and me have clicked your night hourly videos..how very excited and joyfully playing you would be during night!.

I had never known what tired was like until then. I remember once when you were ill and were suffering from cold cough and fever you would hardly sleeep..Those few-and-far-between moments when you slept, your dad and I would lay half-awake, too nervous to sleep deeply, carefully checking to make sure you were asleep. Every little sound you made sent us sitting up, scrambling to make sure you were okay and is not hungry!

So also after few days you would trouble me for feeding for entire night...but time flies away fast and now you are sweet perfect baby with adequate hunger!

Now you’re a toddler. You’re already growing so fast, and I’m so proud of who you are. I can’t wait to see who you become. When you were first born, your grandma, said she also knew you were here for a reason, and you have a special purpose. I know that to be true. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for you...

My prayer for you, my hope for your future, is that you become a man of God, stable, caring, independent and smart, gentle and strong like your dad, A leader.

When I go to check on you at night before I lay down to sleep besides you, I put my hand on your heart and I pray that you will know god and his place in our life. I pray that you will hear Him clearly when He speaks to you. I pray that you will not doubt Him, that you will be bold and carry His name to everyone you know. I pray for your purpose, for your life story. I know you’re here for something big and important, and I thank God for letting me be here to witness your life.

I will always love you and I will always be in your corner. I don’t make many promises to people but I will make this promise to you. I will ALWAYS listen to you and I will ALWAYS be someone you can count on. I will do whatever I can to make your life better for as long as there is air in my lungs and my heart still beats. ALWAYS,
ALWAYS, ALWAYS.

Happy second birthday, my precious, sweet little man.

Love,
Your mom

Here is the video....a wonderful gift from me and ur papa to you dear on this auspicious occassion of ur B'day!

H4 Visa-A boon

After working for 3 years at infosys, finally I decided to take a break. My husband got an onsite opportunity and I joined him in US on the H4 dependent visa. I and my husband worked in the same organization; however there were no onsite opportunities in my field so also after coming to US we had big responsibility of Arnav also...who will look after him if both will work?....In India I used to think that I didnt got oppurtunity... and devoted very less time towards arnav so this was golden chance for me..Seeing all the situation finally I decided to leave job and move to US.

The initial plan was that we would be in US for 8 months, then we would return back to India, and I would look out for a new job. That plan soon materialized into another plan when his project got extended and I had to stay on H4 for more period.

My status changed from working to non-working so also changed the attitude of a lot of people towards me. People whom I knew were earning less than me in the previous company suddenly started showing how superior they were to me. Working females would make statements like I can keep the house cleaner as I am a full-time housewife, I can cook better as I have nothing else to do. And I would be “Hello, I used to work 2 months back”. Of course, I never retaliated to any of the taunts/comments that people threw at me. I have the classic problem of not being able to say anything rude on anyone’s face and then later think about what/how could I have said something.

Friends would ask me questions such as “Din bhar ghar mein kya time pass karti ho? (What time pass do you do the whole day sitting at home?)” “Why don’t you study in college?” “Why are you online the whole day just waiting for someone to come online and ping you?”"Ghar me pura din bore nahi hoti ho kya" and lot more!..

Initially, the word “Housewife” said to me sounded like an insult or bad word.Mostly, I took all these attitude problems and questions in my stride and kept a positive outlook.I used to tell people that arnav is big timepass for me...how time flies doing his and hubby's daily chores is not at all known to me..Also I update new articles in my blog when I get time...cooking has become my passion now...I can cook n number of dishes deliciously now...
But still there are times when I  get terribly depressed as I miss my mom and dad a lot also my sis is going to get married and bla bla...

All of you are aware what true friends are? and what true friendship is?...Yes definately sometimes I do get bored, miss mumbai and pune both badly.all my relatives and many more...but here also frankly speaking I live in good people's company...All are away from there homes so everyone has value of each other...so also frankly speaking I got true friend s here...She is so very nice that she cant live without serving her dishes to me meet me anytime I need her...Also she is very much attached to arnav...We arrange get-togethers lot many times and enjoy to full extent...
Ya,Still Sometimes I do feel like...The walls would close on me, all the ghosts seen in horror movies would haunt me in broad daylight, and I would feel like an utter failure. I would never pester my husband for all my boredom, after all staying here for an extended time was my decision too.

This article is my small contribution to all those females like me, who have willingly or unwillingly taken a break from their careers. The reasons and the duration of the break might be different. But the situation through which we are going through is the same....

Mostly, this article is for all the females on the H4 dependent visa. And only females on the H4 dependent visa know how dependent they become through this visa. With a decent paying job in India, I never thought twice about buying anything. And oh, the freedom to buy and shop is so valuable to any girl. My husband would never stop me from buying anything in the US. But the ability to shop from your hard earned money is quite different than asking him to buy something for you. Some of you who have been in the US know most of the things covered in this article, but I am hoping that this article proves useful to girls who have newly come to US on H4.
Stuck on a H4? Don’t say so. Here’s how you should utilize your free time: and realize that H4 visa is not curse but boon to you...Think and take oppurtunities positively and success will be yours.

1.Volunteer: The first thing that comes to mind when you say H4 is that people cannot work on this visa. So, what now? Volunteer. Look up sites such as Volunteermatch.org and Idealist.org and find volunteer positions in your area. Find the work that best suites your likes and spend your time there. You can choose the schedule of your volunteer work if you face problem like me...looking after your baby... These jobs won’t pay you anything. But they will help you in numerous ways like : a. Maintaining a schedule. b. Give you peace of mind that you are doing something worthwhile with your time. c. If you get a volunteer experience letter, then you can account for the free time when later applying for a job.

My friend volunteered at a school here. It was a very enriching experience for her. And yes I find several writing opportunities through Volunteermatch.org. It’s great to spend time writing articles. In fact, I am very busy in my work.

2.Internships: Several companies accept college interns to work for them for a certain time period. If you have some experience in a particular field and find an internship opening, then you can apply to work voluntarily for the same. My friend was working as an Instructional Designer in India and after coming to the US she found an internship opening in a firm. She applied, went through six rounds of interviews, and is now working as an intern with the firm.Again these firms will also not pay you anything, but they might give you gift cards to gyms and all. Again, the best thing about working as an intern is working as a full-time employee. If the firm is happy with your work, they may sponsor your H1 visa.These websites may help you to find internship positions..
http://jatinternships.uky.edu/internship/list.htm and  http://boston.craigslist.org/.

3.Further studies: For all those whose husband doesn’t mind sponsoring further education, this option is the best. You can complete your MS, MBA, or CPA in US universities.

If you are not interested in a full-time course or a degree, you can consider taking individual courses and earn credit points. Some colleges offer courses for 100$ and these will earn you a single credit point. You will need to increase the number of courses to earn more points. These credit points will definitely come in handy for job applications.

If going to college for earning a degree isn’t easy for you, take up some distance learning program. You can always search on Google for such programs in your field of study.
Lastly, there’s the option of online certifications. Females from IT background can complete Oracle, SAP, and software testing certifications.

4.Hobby classes: Find out about hobby classes in your area and join something that interests you. I was very lucky in this aspect after knowing about Friendship International but I fail to attend as I have duty towards arnav.This group sponsored by the local church offers free hobby classes. Teachers train you on various hobbies such as sewing, stitching, home decorations crafts, crochet, knitting, and quilting. They provide free materials and offer free pick up and drop facility. The class is scheduled every Wednesday and is attended by people of all nationalities. This class gives you a chance to go out, meet so many people, and do something creative with your own hands.

I recently came to know that the store Michaels offers cake decorating and bead jewelry making classes during spring and summer.Visit Michaels craft store to collect free pamplet which describes your hobby class's schedule..Also one of the photo shops in Oxmoor mall arranges for free workshops and seminars regarding scrapbooking.They teach you all photo related creative designing craft things so as to give golden tinge for your sweet memories that needs to be focussed,remembered forever.

5.Network: The more you network, the more you will be aware of opportunities. I have made several friends in my vicinity. These friends informs me about hobby classes, gave me shopping tips, and comforts me when I feel lonely. I also joined Facebook, a networking website and found several long lost friends. Later, I joined communities such as “H4 Marathi Mandal” and “Indian Homemakers in the USA”. Through these communities, I have 500+ virtual friends. I knew that whenever I posted a query or felt like talking to anyone, I would have company. These girls also chat online and play online antakshari. Again one of my friend takes great interest in craft...I learn lot many things related to both crafts and cooking north indian dishes from her as she is excellent cook also...She guides me how to decorate our house...she helped me lot in making frames and variety of decorative articles...she follows principle of making best from waste...I look forward to make good friendship with her so also likes her company a lot...

The apartments where I stay arrange for lot many monthly events with the motto of knowing your neighbours...I eagerly wait for monthly newsletter which describes such events...Always try to attend them and participate in those...It gives me immense pleasure and contentment,satisfaction as get to know many foreigners residing near me... and sometimes you can be lucky winner of any competition like me...I was very happy to recieve my first ever prize of USA at brookside on fathers day...There was essay competition wherein we were needed to describe "Why my dad is great"...Awesome...I enjoyed writing it a lot!....Whenever I do something creative either learn something new or acheive something , I feel like a child who has accomplished something.

6.Keep updated: My biggest worry of being on H4 is that I should get a decent job after going back to India. I should be able to account for the time that I spent here at home. I follow e-mail discussions, read online magazines, and keep updated with the new tools .The biggest advantage of being in the US for me is the local library. I found several books in software field that would be difficult to find in India. I get these books,try reading them, and take notes. I regularly write articles, either for my blogs or as part of the voluntary work.This has helped me a lot in improving my language.This gives me satisfaction that I can spend my time in doing worthy things that I love ... like reading ,writing, photographing etc I do not want to appear clueless and lost when I would apply for jobs in India.

Whatever field you belong to, keep yourself updated. You may convert your visa from H4 to H1 and while searching for jobs, you should be confident and well-informed.

7.Pursue your passion: I believe that there’s a passion in every human waiting to come out. Some of us might have found that passion, while some may find it later. You may be good at singing, cooking, painting, sketching, drawing, playing an instrument, or creative in whatever you make. I discovered my love for cooking after coming to the US. I truly believe that ‘Whatever happens, happens for the best'. I never cooked anything till I came here, and then had to cook as there is no concept of cooking maids in the US. Initially, I struggled but later found that I loved cooking different dishes of variety of cuisines. While searching for a particular recipe, I stumbled upon a food blog and through this I found several food bloggers which are now my virtual friends. I now have my own food blog Food frenzy, where I write about what I cook at home and post pictures of the cooked dishes. Food blogging serves three of my passions – writing, cooking, and photography. I have several blogger friends and we have a lot of blogging events. I love participating in all of them.

A friend of mine is taking her photography hobby very seriously. She has a Canon S2 IS digital camera and captures Mother Nature’s phenomenal wonders through her lens. She shares her work on Flickr and gives a chance to people to appreciate nature’s beauty. Whatever is your passion, find it and pursue it. You will never feel alone if you are engrossed in something.

8.Exercise regularly: The one thing that my dad said to me when I was leaving for the US is “Don’t come back fat”. I always remember this. It’s natural that if you sit at home and eat, you will put on weight. Sometimes you might eat because you are bored, or eat without noticing while watching TV. And then when you see in the mirror, you will see a fat lady. This might increase your frustration and you may end up eating even more. I am not saying that I regularly go to the gym, but some form of physical activity is necessary. Go for a morning walk, do jogging, hit the gym, practice yoga, or play tennis. I try to practice meditation and do jogging on regular basis. It makes me calm and controlled. Go out from time to time. You will feel refreshed after breathing the natural air as weather here is awesome and pure pollution free!

9.Follow a schedule: During my early days in the US, I had absolutely no schedule. I used to get up and make breakfast and lunch for my husband,feed arnav then sleep again till 11 am with my baby, get up and chat with my parents, again feed arnav with lunch and do his daily chores,eat lunch at odd times when time permits, watch TV, and have bath any time before hubby came home. I soon got bored with this schedule. All of us should follow some schedule to feel positive and happy. Nowadays, I get up early, make tiffin for my hubby, look after my baby,read the news, update my blog,clean the house, do my voluntary work, and maintain a fixed schedule.

10.Be positive: Oh no, it's not my blood group. Thoughts of your family, friends, and country are bound to come to your mind from time to time. Your inability to earn may depress you at times. But, try and be positive all the time. If you are feeling lonely, then share this feeling with someone. Read books. I believe that a person will never feel lonely whilst he’s in the company of books. Try to find a positive angle to the present situation. Although I miss my family and all the functions back home, I cherish all the time I am getting to spend with my husband. Who knows, every Sunday in India might have been spent attending weddings and birthday parties? I try and be happy most of the times. I dance when I am alone, laugh out loud, take photographs, and read a lot.

11.Keep company: I see to it that there’s some form of noise when I feel lonely; this way I feel that I have company. I listen to music when I am cooking; I switch on the TV while eating. Ask a friend to visit you if you are too bored or visit her instead. Plan a potluck party with a group of friends as we do every weekend..

12.Eat properly: This point is more as a reminder to me than for anyone else. I hate eating alone. My husband’s office is far off and he can’t come home for lunch. I often neglect lunch and eat in minimal quantities. Sometimes I chuck making chapattis and settle for Maggi, a sandwich, or an apple. I sure hope that none of you do something similar, but if you do, then stop doing it. I have now become very serious about having a hearty lunch. I play my favorite movie, add fruits in my lunch, and seem to enjoy it.

13.Learn something new: What was it that you always wanted to do but never found the time to? Learn a new activity - be it sports, a musical instrument, or a new language. There are websites such as http://www.studyspanish.com/  that teach you Spanish. You can hear the pronunciations and learn the language. I am planning to learn tennis and swimming since here we have good tennis court and best swimming facility. Rekindle the romance with your husband and sign up for some dance classes. I recently found out that a local dance school offers classes for 40$ a month.

14. Learn driving: I did the mistake of not learning to drive. If you stay in a city which does not have good local transport, driving becomes mandatory. Most of the states require you to appear for a written test. You can easily prepare for this test using the driver's guideline book for your state. All the driving rules and regulations are defined in this book. Once you pass the written exam, you have to wait for a month to give the driving test. Practice driving in this one month and then appear for the test. A driving license gives you the freedom to go out whenever you want, you need not be dependent on your husband to take you out. Go to the library, go shopping with your friends,take your child to school or do volunteer work.

This is for all the smart asses (sorry to use this word, but it suits them) who think that people on H4 do nothing but time pass the whole day. Most of these girls are highly educated and know better about how to pass their time than you lecturing them. Do consider the fact that these girls are thousands of miles away from home and family. If you are not interested in talking to them, leave them alone. But at least don’t point out the fact that they are not working over and over again. Remember, if you say something depressing, you can spoil their day.

I hope that this article would help my female friends on H4 in some way or the other. Thanks for reading this article. If you would like to contribute any other helpful fact for this article, please contact me. I would love to add it to the article and give your reference. Also, if you want more information about anything, get in touch with me. I would be happy to help you out.

Till then, be happy on H4!Adios!