A letter to my son on his bday...Eight is Enough!

Ok Sweet Buddy…. Eight is Enough.

I wish you want to stop growing and remain just as sweet, innocent and full of joy as you are right now.

I’ve now known you for 2,922 days and I love you more each morning and each evening as I put you to sleep. I don’t have a perfect memory, but I remember vividly the moment you entered my world. To this day, your beautiful hair, your smile and your heart make me fall a little more in love with you each hour. My labor with you was virtually non-existent. Dr. mandakini vartak made me laugh and you joined us immediately.

I literally laughed you in to the world. So fitting for a boy who makes my heart smile.

You are kind.

You are so very smart.

You are generous with your time and love.

You work hard and play hard.

You are funny, silly, goofy and lovable – all things that make you….well, YOU.

These are all traits I wish for you as you grow older. My goal has always been to raise a kind, generous, hard-working, play-loving boy….and to guide him to being the very same kind of young man and then adult.  You are making my job as your mother so easy.

I’ve noticed you growing up a little bit more lately…. just yesterday you dropped my hand when you saw a team of girls walking by….unwilling to be the ‘little boy’ holding his mom’s hand in front of girls. I knew it would happen eventually, but I felt it in my heart. And though you told me last night you will always be my ‘baby’, I can see the baby slipping away by the day, being replaced by a boy with a heart and mind of his own. I am raising you for these moments, but I confess to knowing I will miss the ‘little’ you.

This year you finished second grade, played soccer and basketball games than I can count, made me laugh until I cried, held my hand and my heart, continued to snuggle in to my bed,enjoyed the company of wonderful friends and reminded me that life is for living and loving.

As you enter your 9th year, these are my reminders for you:

There is no substitute for family. We’ve always stressed that our number one job is to take care of you and YOUR number one job is to love us. Your dad and I will always be here for you, will always support your dreams and will always be here to pick you up when you need us.

Work Hard, Play Hard – You do this beautifully now, but it won’t always be easy. As you get older, the temptation to play more than you work will be strong, but learning, expanding your mind and focusing on school, and improving both in school and on the field are important. The harder you work, the better you will be.Iam really proud that teachers praise you always,you do best academically and shine in every school we move.

Losing is growing – I wish I could tell you that you will never fail, that a trophy will always be within your reach, but not only is that not true, I don’t want it to be. Every time you lose a soccer game, every time you miss that A+ you want in school, every time you fail to throw the ball correctly in cricket (your recent love), you have the chance to grow, to learn from your mistakes and IMPROVE. Learning this now means you will be better equipped for the moments in life that aren’t perfect.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T – Give it, earn it: it’s more than a word – Respect adults – teachers, coaches, other parents: they are here to teach you, guide you and help you to grow in to a strong adult. Respect your friends – their friendship is valuable…don’t take it for granted. Respect girls – you are quite a distance from dating (maybe 20 years or so :), but it is important to remember that girls deserve your friendship and respect just as the others in your life do. A strong man will always respect the women he knows and meets. Respect yourself: you are smart and valuable and more than capable of doing anything you want in life.

Nurture kindness –  You are a sensitive soul. You love deeply, you feel deeply, you hurt deeply. Assume that others do as well and treat them kindly. Share what you have, compliment- don’t criticize and offer to help whenever you can.

Take responsibility for your actions – If you do something wrong (and inevitably you will, as we all do), own your mistake. If you need to apologize for hurting someone, do it. Learn from your missteps, stand tall and do better next time.

Humble is beautiful –  I don’t care how many home runs you hit, strikes you throw, A’s you earn in the classroom – no one likes a braggart. Aim to be the very best version of you, but let your actions talk for you. Confidence is wonderful, but cockiness is unattractive.

Worry about yourself – Your job is to compare yourself to the ‘you’ of yesterday, not to worry about anyone else’s grades, athletic ability, relationships or home life. Arnav needs to worry about Arnav.

Make the world better each day – You make my world better simply by being wonderful, beautiful you are. But, I challenge you to commit to small acts of good – open doors for strangers, smile at everyone, offer to help someone who needs it, surprise someone you love with a moment of good. You never know what someone else might be facing and your small act of kindness could make the difference between a good day and a tough one.

And one to grow on….

I have faith in you –  Always come back to this one. I will always be one step behind you, supporting your decisions and trusting in your goals and dreams. I have faith, Arnav, that you can be anyone or anything you choose.

You are extraordinary. My heart melts when I watch you do the things you love, when you hug me , say thank you to a stranger, call your dad your hero or tell me you haven’t had enough hugs for the day.

It is my honor to be your mom and to help shape you from this sweet boy in to the young man you are becoming.

I love you to the moon and back, and you will always be my "baby".

Love, Mommy....

“What I want my son ARNAV to know on his 7th birthday.”

It’s an important age obivously and this is why....

Today is Little Dude’s birthday. Only, he’s not so little anymore.

He’s 7.

This means he’s lost all traces of his baby belly and chubby cheeks. He is all coltish legs and angular features and perfect skin. He is energy trapped in human form. He chafes when I hover and ventures into the world instead of always clinging to my arm.

He can read, write, add, subtract, multiply, to some extent divide,walk to his friend’s house, get his own breakfast and make his own bed. 

He has his own preferences and peculiarities. If seven is the number of deadly sins and years of bad luck for breaking a mirror, it is also the number that reminds me that my son is no longer an extension of me, but a person in his own right.

Every year I write him a letter on his birthday to try to capture what he’s leaving behind and what lies ahead. The letters imperfectly capture his life as I see it, but I hope if he ever wants to look back on these years, they’ll be here for him.

Dear Little Dude,

Today you are 7 and I am amazed. You don’t know this, but every night I check on you before I go to sleep, and last night, I stared at you for an hour because I cannot believe how big you are. Of all of the things in my life, you are the thing of which I am most proud.

You have changed from a big, pudgy, joyful baby into a tall, and joyful boy. You are kind. You are funny. You are gentle,loving and decent. You are mischievous,happy and exuberant. You say "mom" at least 100 times a day, and most of the time I can't wait to hear what you have to say (although 10 percent of the time I pretend I can't hear you because I just 
need a break).

Six was the era of mediocre tooth brushing, card games with no rules, lost teeth , hesitant questions about our trip to india,1st grade, helping mom, requests for more and more playdates and playtime in play area and permission to cross the street while cycling without an adult ,cycling without balancing wheels speedily,the colour red, drawing pictures, 
being brave,singing, reading, your love over video games and star wars, New Year's "revolutions" and learning that it isn't always about you.

It was a hard and wonderful year. I expect this one will be, too.

At the threshold of 7, you are full of opinions and good will and curiosity. You are gregarious at home, but shy around people you don't know. You are bright, even as you make up words and phrases with abandon..

You are stubborn and sensitive in equal measure. Quick to forgive, you are also easily frustrated and sometimes selfish. 

You are eager to have friends over, but struggle to share when they're here. You are independent in doing your work but till now you need me around yourself and you will not play all alone in another room...

You've become a real boy.

But even as you shed babyhood, ready to embrace the dirt and roughhousing and toughness of the life of boys, I am grateful that at your core you are warm and loving,affectionate and patient and optimistic. I cling to what might be our last year of night snuggles, and hugs and kisses , because this softness is what makes you you. I hope you never lose it.

I’m not sure any parent is ever ready for the realization that their child has a life that is seperate and distinct from their own. I used to spend every moment with you and I knew everything about you and now, you are becoming more of mystery. This mystery will grow as you become a teenager and then a young man. But I hope you know that you can always 
talk to me, even when it’s hard. There will never be a time when you cannot come over and sit down on the couch with me and tell me about your day.

I know that you will change as you grow up, but I hope some part of you always stays as you are now, sweet and loving and excited about every new thing.

People will tell you to toughen up, get over things, and be a big boy, but on the cusp of a new year, I hope you ignore them. I hope you stay compassionate and kind and vulnerable, even though I know it will make things harder for you at times though. I love you exactly as you are. 

Happy Birthday!

Love,
your mom

Happy 7th Togetherness Anniversary Sweetheart !!

Happy 7th Togetherness Anniversary Sweetheart !!

Celebrating our 7 years of togetherness And before taking you back on the memory tour I just wanna say one thing ~

"I Love you Nikhil..Forever & ever & ever & ever..."

Together we pray that we will have more beautiful years to be cherished together.

OH! MY LOVE

Oh! My love is like a red rose

Newly sprung in June

Oh! My love is like a melody

Sweetly played in tune

With world around...Am still alone

Smiling though…. But still longing to know…

When I’ll get the time to hold you tight

When I’ll get a chance to be on your side

When the day will come when we could walk together

& when can we go together for a long ride

The time for all this may be far

But you are always safe in my heart..

With our love always as fresh as new

With the hopes that all my dreams will soon come true

I know my love is a vast ocean

With new waves forming too

I know my love is a pole star

Shining truly forever in my heart ! 

Seven colors of the rainbow 

Seven circles around the sacred fire 

Seven days of the week 

Seven virtues of human nature 

And Seven years of togetherness. 

In my life, the number seven denotes years of love, laughter and learning. 

Seven years ago, this day(19th nov 2009), I tied the knot with a man who drove me crazy with his simplicity, consistency and rigidness. 

That man vowed to be with a woman who drove (and still does) him crazy with her ever changing moods and spontaneity. 

A perfect match, huh? 

Not sure if it is perfect but I am sure it is good enough for us. 

Good enough that we choose each other...

Good enough that we decide to wake up next to each other, even after a night long hassle over a hypothetical question. 

Good enough that we end the day with a good-night kiss, 

Good enough that we are each other’s best confidante and moral support. 

It is almost perfect that we take our union as a commitment and work hard towards it. 

I believe marriage is what we make of it. 

I am lucky and happy and thankful that we have made our marriage our biggest comfort zone. 

We derive solace, calmness and peace from our marriage that keeps us shielded from the heat of the outside world. 

It has become our little fantasy world where we dream, laugh, fight, scream and yet love each other. 

As we complete seven years, we gear ourselves up for a phase called ‘Seven Year Itch.’ 

I look forward to exploring it in all its notoriety while he silently smiles as I read this message out to him and says, ‘there is nothing called seven year itch’. 

Aha! This contrast is the most beautiful thing.

Letter to ARNAV on his 6th BDAY!

My sweet small Dude~

Today I am the mother of a six year old.

I have no idea how this happened. No idea at all what it meant to love someone so much more than you ever thought possible. This year during spring break you got glasses and my heart was broken to pieces but you managed with it finely and look smarty...

You made me feel like the luckiest person on earth. To have such a beautiful and sweet baby boy to love and to watch grow.

They say “the days are long but the years are short” and that is never more true than when you look at your children certainly.

Buddy, I am so proud to be your mama. You are turning into an amazing boy, with this sparkling personality that makes your father and I so very happy.

It’s really difficult to put Love into words. Especially a Mother’s love for her son.  As much as I try to raise you my boy … you end up raising me as well.

I see my window of influence closing and before too long, it will be time for you to stand strong and make your own footprints in this world. I’ve been preparing myself for that moment since the first day you took your first steps ..i remember you fell down got up and again u tried.. It seems as if it was a symbol in our relationship. It was your first steps towards independence. But that mommy will always be there to catch you when you fall. I’ll never fail you in that promise.

My sweet, sweet 6 year old boy who has done now his Kindergarten. You’ve waiting all these years to ride the bus to Kindergarten and finally u have made it!. The fact that you are excited to wake up in the morning to go to school makes me think that you’re having the best time! You have rocked Kindergarten babe. I knew you would! It only gets better too. I promise.

You have taught me SO many things,Arnu..

I’ve witnessed your joy in every moment around you. Because of this joy … you attract friends wherever you go. I remember words of miss anderson who told me during meeting that, "Everyone loves Arnav. he is very social.He is a good friend to all." You are a loyal friend and quick to forgive. Stay this way and you’ll never be lonely.

You have taught me courage.

I love you so much, Arnu You are the son I always dreamed of having. It makes my heart happy to watch you find your voice and be a leader. This will serve you well in life.

God has blessed you with good looks, a good mind, an old soul, and a sweet heart. Keep going on your journey son. Continue to make your Daddy and me happy.

I am always in your corner,arnu. I’m the loudest cheerleader, the proudest mom, and the one who is always crying over how blessed she knows she is.

I’m the one giving myself an internal high five. I’m nostalgic. I’m just so dang proud to be your mother!

Now Arnu You’re so big and you need me less. When did that happen? Who said you could grow up and turn into such a handsome little dude? I’m not sure how I feel about this.

Son, time is moving too quickly. I haven’t bottled up your little quirks or your little mannerisms that I love so much. I don’t want to forget how you pause what you’re doing throughout the day to tell me you love me and I don’t want to forget that I’m your favorite play date. I take u to friends..You’ll take me playing Legos with you over anything. I wish I could bottle your smile and your innocence and have your small hands wrapped in my arms forever. I’m not ready for this.

Six is cool, don’t get me wrong, but it means that when Summer is over you’ll be in First Grade and I won’t have you like I do now. In a blink, we will be there. How can I pause time and fill my well with all these great memories?

I love to watch you grow and accomplish every milestone with ease, I also wish I could go back to those days where you fell asleep in your high chair. Those are the years I can’t get back. And in 6 more years I’m going to wish the same thing. Except I’ll wish you were 6 and I’ll  wish you still snuggled up to me during story time and begged for me to put you to bed at night. I’ll long to help you read sight words. I’ll wish I was still the girl of your dreams and that you would rather be with me instead of your friends.

Today I just want you to know that not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for that smile of yours and your fun personality. You light up my life and I’m so happy that you are who you are. It’s truly a wonder to watch you.

You were the first baby I ever carried in my womb. The baby who made me a mother. Who showed me my greatest passion in this life. And now? You are truly a big boy. All evidence of babyhood is long gone. Your little baby gut has disappeared and now you have little abs where that baby chubbiness once was. Your fat chunky fingers are now long, your hands beginning to lose that sweet baby softness. I can no longer shop for you in the toddler section of the store. You are wearing boxer briefs that I often confuse with Daddy's when I do the laundry. You make your own bed, completely dress yourself, and truly help with household chores. You are really big boy arnav!

I can’t believe how fast you’ve become such a smart, funny, sweet and special young man.

Sometimes you may drive me nuts with your silliness.

And I try as I might, I can’t answer all your in dept questions about how things work or why for everything..

Sometimes you get forgotten by me.. I might seem distracted with work, with cleaning or household chores. I might not listen to you as closely as I should or stop what I’m doing to pay attention to you fully.

I am really sorry for that.

But I want you to know that you matter a lot!

That our family wouldn’t be complete without you. That I wouldn’t be complete without you.

I’m so very proud of you. Of your thirst for knowledge. Of your endless need for answers and understanding.

I’m proud of your willingness to help me.

I love that you are nice to other kids and hate bullies.

You are my charmer.

My social butterfly.

Please don’t stop being yourself. Don’t let anyone change what makes you, YOU.

How have you gone from my little boy to a Kindergartener in the blink of an eye?

I’m emotional as I write this because I know that you will be able to read this all by yourself. That you won’t need me to help you with the words. How very grown up you seem.

I hope this makes you smile.

I’m so very lucky to be your mom. I know I tell you that often but it is because I mean it and I can never say it enough.

I am lucky, lucky, lucky to have you to love.

Happy Birthday!

This has been a big year of you. You just completed your Kindergarten and now u are doing great in summer school..above that you love it. Of course, your favorite activities are lunch and recess, but when I push you on what activity IN the classroom you like most, you tell me English.

Iam very proud to say that you can read now well. and I love to hear you sound out words. You want to know everything all at once and get quite frustrated when you get something wrong. It’s such a tough thing to learn and understand. Learning takes time and you have to be patient. You can’t be good at absolutely everything but I am quite sure you are going to try.

This year you loved playing soccer. These things bring you great joy

This year, our obsession with Power Rangers and Ninja Turtles gave way to Star Wars. and like your dad u enjoy watching movies..Recently u love watching movies under the stars and ur dad totally supports u for that.

You also did a great job at the pool over the summer this year...u certainly enjoyed thoroghly in soak city and water rides roller collasters at kings dominion and u wanted to visit it again and again..

Six seems so very big at times, but you are still my little boy. As grown up as you seem, I am so thankful that you still like to cuddle with me. Kisses are a no go but I steal them just the same.

Bedtime is my favorite. It’s the only time I can really get you to talk to me about your day, your life. I prod with questions and gulp up every drop of information you might give me.

You are happy, my sweet boy, and that makes me happy.

Your daddy and I love you so.

Happy birthday, my Wonderbug! You make my life joyful.

Six years ago u were brought into this world on the very same day

You have brought us nothing but pure joy since that very first moment.

Watching you grow, absorbing the world around you, inquisitive and delighted to learn, I’m reminded each day of the treasure you bring into my world.

As all mothers do, I have goals, dreams and wishes for you. I have, as you can imagine, dozens of them, but on this 6th anniversary of that laughing moment, I will limit myself to the six I wish for most.

1.I wish for the kind heart I see you in now to stay firmly in place.  Keep it, nurture it, handle it with care.  Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are too sensitive.

The best part of my day is the joy infused by your smile, your hugs, and kisses I couldn’t live without your affection and kindness.

2.Don’t ever apologize for who you are, for what you want, for how hard you have worked or where you are going in life. I don’t doubt you will work hard, but I can already see signs that you are quick to apologize, to back down. Don’t. You have learned this from me and I wish I could take it back.  Stand your ground, be proud of you.  Do not live to make others happy or to measure up to someone else’s expectations.  Be ARNAV.  This is enough.

3.Be a student.  Be a teacher.  Learn at every opportunity.  Read. Be inquisitive. Ask. And when you know something and know it well – teach others.  Do not hoard your knowledge, your gifts – share them.  There is inherent beauty in being both student and teacher.  It is a gift to learn and a privilege to teach.

4.I wish you wins and losses, trophies and empty shelves.  As much as I would love to see you succeed in everything you do… as much as I believe in your gifts, I must wish you challenges.  For it is within the losses, the 3rd, 4th and 5th places, and the failures that your character will be built. It is my job, as your mom, to do my best to guide you through these moments. If everything was to be easy for you, you would be ill-prepared for the ‘real’ world.  I promise you, life is not always easy.

5.Your dreams: do them.  Your heart: follow it.  Your family: treasure them. Your friends: be loyal to them. Your fears: embrace them and allow them to make you stronger.  The money you earn: respect it. Your passion: LIVE IT.

6.Seek joy.  Every single day, find something that makes you happy and do it.  Be it big or small – an act of kindness, listening to a song you love, calling a friend, watching TV with your dad  – it quite simply doesn’t matter.  What matters is that you spend a portion of each day smiling and laughing.  This is how you came in to the world, it is only fitting that keep the tradition going.

And my ‘one to grow on’ – I wish to be here for each of your moments…. to keep you on track.

Arnav, you are what bliss looks like in a little boy.  You are messy, you snuggle and love me. I really adore and melt when you say, “I need your hugs and kisses, Mommy”. into your bed at night in order to sleep.

And nothing gets to me more than hearing you say, “I love you, my Mommy”. Thank you, sweet, small dude – for completing our family.

I will always love you, my buddy....

with more love than I could ever express…
Your mommy.

letter to husband on 6th anniversary

Darling, 

I can remember the first moment that I saw your face. We saw each other in B3 canteen .You were looking at me as I am a different species..i thought so... yet you seem very familiar to my heart. When you were around me I was very anxious and was tensed. I was in my own mess of love at that time and didn’t believe in love much. Somehow you managed to steal my heart and we began our life journey together six years back. 

Since the moment we started our life journey, you are my rock, my best friend, and my life. Though we are so different from each other, we both also have a weird, silly side to us that perfectly match. You like music and watching movies a lot and I really hate those. You enjoy staying home quietly and I enjoy going out with friends. You always want to have music around you and I always want it to be quiet. Yet we are staying together and perfectly matching. Sometimes I think these differences make us work and happy.

You always read me better than I read myself. You lift me up when I am down. You always encourage me and support me on working out my plans. It doesn’t matter to you whether I am fat or skinny, beautiful or ugly, you always admire me. You always think about my happiness and comfort. Sometimes you are a big father to me. Sometimes you irritate me with your advices, but I always know that those are true and glad you are alongside me. 

Sometimes you annoy the hell out of me. You spend so much time on your computer or with headset on at night and you can’t hear what I am saying. So I have to scream or have to hit you to get your attention. Sometimes you ask so many questions just to irritate me. But still I love all those things too.
I know our life is not perfect, yet it is perfect for us, though it’s not a fairy tale. I am glad about the decision I took six years back to be your wife and that’s the best choice I have made in my entire life. Thank you for being my life partner and my life coach. Thank you for accepting me as I am and not trying to change me. 

I love you more than yesterday and surely less than tomorrow. You are the best thing happened to me in my life. On this wonderful day, I wish more years to be with you and grow old together. Happy anniversary!!! Love you to the core of my life!
Your Wifi :D

I blinked and suddenly he is five!

Love letters are nearly a lost art — never mind, letters of love from a parent to child is still surviving!

My sweet boy,

You are five today!It sounds like such a big boy age.Right?

In the coming fall, you’ll be starting kindergarten. ohh wow isnt that exciting one!
I don’t understand how time went by so quickly.  It seems like just yesterday you were learning to walk, talk and navigate this crazy thing called life.

You are still such a joy. Your giggle is infectious and everyone who hears it agrees.
You delight in figuring things out and your intelligence constantly astounds me. I can never remember what kids are “supposed” to know and be able to do at this age, but regardless, you make me and your father so very proud.

You are sensitive like me. You don’t like to disappoint us and are quick to apologize once your moments are over.

You are spirited, full of energy and zest everytime.

Running is still a pleasure for you. You’re figuring out soccer now a days which makes us happy..and you’re excited to learn piano that makes us feel glad. We are eager to try baseball next.

This year you fell in love with Ninja Turtles ,variety of super heroes and Power Rangers (much to my dismay) and you still love to play games on my phone.  Angry Birds is one of your favorite.

You love preschool andyour teacher mrs smith.  You delight in figuring out mazes and puzzles and you have started taking interest in reading.

Your love for building blocks and legos is just endless!Good keep it up dear!

You try to memorize our address and try to figure and learn our names in case of an emergency, and you are figuring out how to spell your friends’ names too. When you have play dates, you and your friends play a lot with freezebee and cars i know u are so fond of cars !

U r very fond of watching TV your mickey cartoons and all so this year we decided to celebrate your bday at disney with your best pals disney characters!Hope u would enjoy!

I remember scolding u for watching television for long and also when u confuse urself saying 31 to 13...I feel sad but cant help I cant control my anger when u makes such silly mistakes as I know u can do it correctly! You joined kumon-pathway to success.. last month..Iam proud u love studies

your love towards cleaniliness is endless u try to keep everything right on place and forces me too to do so...ur this habit reminds me of my MIL she too is like you

You have troubled me a lot for eating which I cant ever forget in my life but now u have started improving a bit

You have started loving tortilla specially jalapeno one then pringles and bread ...I love u telling me that mom I want crispy bread...u love frooti,tang and mango juice now a days..

You love banana and strawberry smoothie which makes us happy..

You are unique. You use big words in the right context often. Now a days u want us to talk to you and u wont allow us both to talk with each other...your unconditional love is bournvita milk!

You say Iam complain boy and we love it!

You love to read ,draw ,paint and sing .Now a days ur liking towards hindi songs surprises us a lot!you say ur nursery rhymes so well with correct tune that we admires it!

Your song of Idli makes saku happy! and others too admire ur marathi poems...now a days u talk a lot on phone with grandma,moushi and atya...u even know how to dial their nos...

your rhythmical songs u learnt in preschool during music class u sing them so well that makes us delighted...

You’re not really into swimming which makes me sad sometimes, and tay kwan do but that’s okay. You speak your mind freely, which gets you into trouble sometimes. Don’t worry, I understand. I am exactly the same way.

I tried to understand how you came to be this little boy, when it seems like just yesterday I brought you into this world. My eyes became watery as I realized how quickly time has passed. I sometimes feel like I didn’t savour enough, didn’t pay attention enough, didn’t take time to really soak you in. But all I have to do is reach back in my memory and pull out the hours, days, weeks, months and years I’ve spent being your mother to travel back in time. I am thankful I have a good memory.

I have learned a lot about myself since you came into my life. In more ways than I can count, you’ve made me a better person.

You’ve shown me how to live life through your eyes – with gusto, innocence, raw emotion and unconditional love.

You’ve rekindled the spirit of the child I once was, which is why it’s not uncommon for me to instigate the childish behavior that permeates our home. Tickle fights, building forts, doing crafts, hours spent lying together, making silly faces, helping you beat levels on ur fav temple run game,playing variety of games till our tummies hurt from laughing so hard – you have inspired me to live life more freely, to savoir each moment, to live and be present in those precious moments.

I want you to know that I am trying and will always try to be the best mom I can be. There will be bad days, for both of us, but no matter what, I’ll always love you and be here for you. You’ve put me up high on a pedestal and I know you worship the ground I walk on (most days) and I promise to try to live up to your expectations. But I need you to be cool with it if I don’t always. Because I’m human, too.

Here are some things I want you to know, not just today, on your birthday, but always. Because, believe it or not, there will come a day when the pedestal you’ve placed me on will collapse and you might hate me. There will come a day when my advice will fall on deaf ears and I won’t be the “most amazing mom ever.” So please, remember this today and always:

I love you more than I could ever love anyone. Ever.
You are, without a doubt, the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
You have made me a better person.
I will always be here for you. Whether you need me to make sure there’s no monsters under the bed or soothe your first broken heart, I will always be here.
We have a special bond that was made for just you and me. That bond can never be broken. Ever.
I am proud to be your mother.

I am emotional as I write this. Yes, I shed some tears. Time is moving too quickly for my liking. I want to hold on to you – your smallness, your innocence, your giant heart that you wear on your sleeve- forever. I cannot believe five years of our lives have gone by. So much seems like yesterday. So much has changed.

Happy birthday, Small Human. Thank you for making my life so wonderful and challenging; easy and difficult; so full of love and uncertainty and fear and worry and laughter and pure happiness. You are the living, breathing piece of my heart that was grown in my body and now walks around outside of it.

You are the greatest piece of me that could ever exist in this world.

You have a big year ahead, my darling Wonderbug, one with lots of changes. But no matter what comes your way, I know you will flourish and prosper.  Thank you for taking me on this journey with you. I can’t wait to see what’s next.

I love u a lots!

Love,
mama

Letter to arnav on his 4th bday

4 years old.! Wow.  I can’t believe that you are 4 years old.  I honestly don’t know where the time went.  4 years came and went too quickly for me.  It makes me both happy and sad that you are getting older.  Sad because I feel like my little baby boy is slipping away from me and taking his place is this grown up kid.  I have told you many times that I want you to stay my baby forever and you tell me “mom…I am not a baby anymore.  I am big boy now”.  And happy because I love the big boy that you have become.  You are grown up into such an awesome, caring, loving,boy.  You are so sweet. You randomly ask for kisses and hugs to me which Melts my heart.  But you also know how to push mommy and daddy’s buttons.  You sometimes (okay alot of the time) have a hard time using your listening ears and you know it.

Most luckiest part of ur 4th bday is ur grandparents are with us here in USA to celebrate ur bday.bday theme was thomas with blue and white dress code...yeah we enjoyed a lot!Full american style with pizza cake colddrink and chips....

You still love cars, but has also found a new love for trains.  Any kind will do.  You just love to “race” things. You also have taken up “real” swimming which makes you tense and nervous while going but once u enter water you do awesome!
How can I forget u vomited in pool on ur bday that made me felt guilty and i scolded you iam really very sorry beta for that...I would like to praise your coach logan and all staff members of aqua tots that were present that day for not even telling or asking us the reason that why u contaminated the poool

You still take a nap everyday for about 2 hours, which completely amazes me.  I really thought you would have given it up by now.  And you don’t even protest it.  You like napping now a days so its good for me.

From the very next day of ur bday u joined romp and roll and enjoyed to fullest!yeah...project theme of summer camp was get sporty!and u had very good time with ur friends.

And you still sleep at night in a pull-up.  You have not once in your 4 years of life ever ever ever woke up in the morning with a dry pull-up.  This is so frustrating to me because he never has accidents during the day but he is just a heavy sleeper and won’t wake up to go potty.  Urgh…I was hoping this would be over by the time you were 4…but clearly not.  So maybe by 5.

You LOVE school.  You love to learn, you love your friends and you love your teachers.  This makes me happy.  However we will see how things are going when he moves to a new classroom for 4 and 5 years olds and not all of his friends will be there.Iam damn sure you are going to miss your best friend devin as it is dicy he will be there in ur class or not which makes me sad still you have aryan with you to play with...

I will remember forever that this year only u got ur society frnd tanish and he has become ur besttest frnd...he is everything for you....many a times he misbehaves with you still u go behind him only and believe him rather imitate him...if he is doing something that you have been told not to do…you will immediately come home and say so and so was doing whatever…and we don’t do that.

He is going to be in for a world of hurt when he goes to kindergarten because none of his best friends will be attending the same school as him and so he will have to find a new gang of friends.  This is going be hard for him because he is very shy when it comes to opening up to new people.

You are on your way to learning to read.  You can figure out which letters are in most words, even if they are not in the right order.You are good at recognising objects when drawn on blackboard.You can even say numbers in pretty good manner till 50. I am hoping your love for learning continues throughout your life.

You are the coolest little boy and we could not be more proud of you.  Every day we count our blessings and we are so lucky to have you in our lives.  You truly are amazing and have showed us what it means to love unconditionally.  We love you more than words can describe.  Keep being awesome and bringing joy to everyone who is lucky enough to know you.